I have not posted in a long time. Two and a half months, in fact. I have been thoroughly busy, with various happenings and occurrences, other than the usual stress of school and living life. I have found that my mind has begun to slow down, bit by bit, as my attention is divided among so many different priorities.

A good metaphor is a computer that has many programs running at the same time, and is trying to execute functions and carry out commands at the speed which it is expected to perform at. However, with a computer, we have the option of a reboot, and that usually does the trick to make our computers run properly again. My brain, however, does not quite work like that. A computer, after it awakes from its slumber, needs to be reassigned its commands, and must open its programs anew.

The mind does not work in such a way. When I go to sleep, I do have the chance to rest and to drop the load that I acquire during the day. Unfortunately, when I get up, the same worries, anxieties, and burdens are picked up again, near-exactly as before, and are once again pressed upon my mind. This causes much fatigue, and the stress takes much out of my ability to do and perform in the various things that I have engaged myself to be involved in.

I do realize, however, that most, if not all, of these burdens are self-imposed. It is my own doing, and it will remain to be seen if I will be able to bear it much longer.

I hope for the best.

Today is Sunday. A very nice Sunday, point of fact. I thoroughly enjoyed church today.

As I say that, a thought may arise. For that thought, I confess guilty. Yes, I am religious. Very much so, in fact. Some consider me to be overly religious, even a "goody two-shoes" per se. But, you know how teenagers can be...

So, yes, I am a religious person. What religion you might ask? Well, prepare yourselves for your shock of the day. Would you like to take a guess? No? Well, then I will just have to tell you myself. I am...(drum roll, please)...

LDS.

"Huh?" some of you might say? What's LDS? Isn't that a drug or something? (Sorry, that's LSD, thank you very much) No, it isn't a drug. You might know it by the more common term of Mormon. Yes, I am Mormon. Although, being a technical individual, I much prefer LDS, because that is the name of the Church. It is not the Mormon Church. It is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, LDS for short. I take pride in it, and I think that all Mormons should be more specific in the way they refer to themselves.

I was born and raised in the Church, and my perceptions are greatly influenced by the things that I have learned while belonging to it. I have learned to be more observant and to look for deeper meaning in things, which, fundamentally, is the reason why I started this blog. To share those things that I have learned from my experiences.

I also have gained an understanding of the concept of hope. I have come to know that if I do all that is expected of me, namely my very best, then everything will work out in the end. This is a concept that some find hard to grasp. Let me elaborate on the subject.

With the belief of Deity emerges a certain devotion and reverence. This is evidenced by the life of one who believes in such a Being. If one believes in God, and in His word, then one's actions should reflect that belief. Now, this concept also may debatably go against some of traditional Protestant teachings, in the sense of the importance and doctrine of good works. I am not going to go into a debate about such differences of dogma. Suffice it to say that we should act according to our beliefs.

Because I believe in God, I believe that there is a higher purpose to things that happen on the Earth. I search for these purposes, especially in the trials that I face. I believe and know that God, my Heavenly Father, has a purpose for my life. I know that He has given me commandments that I must follow. Commandments to love Him, and to "love thy neighbor as thyself." We all are commanded things by Him, regardless of whether we choose to accept it or not. One such commandment is very thought provoking.

As said in Matthew 5:48, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." What a challenge! We are commanded to be perfect. Well, isn't that impossible, because no one is perfect? (Deity exempt)

Well, let us think about it for a second. Why would Heavenly Father command us to do something if it were impossible to do? Why would He require us to be something that we cannot be?

He hasn't.

If He commands us to do something, then it is attainable. Possibly very difficult, be attainable. And not as if we have to do it on our own. That WOULD be impossible. But, with His help, we can become perfect and we can obey His commandments. This also means that we can do anything that is required of us by Him. With His help, of course. (see 1 Nephi 3:7)

So, because I know these things, I know that I can, in fact, do all that is required of me if I do my part and leave the rest to Him. That is why I have reason to hope.

So, I do.

Phew.

Now that we have that out of the way, I can talk freely and without restraint. I hope that you don't think that I'm bipolar or have multiple personalities or anything, because I don't. I am just a person of many voices, and those voices can change according to whom I am talking to. Throughout my posts on this blog, my voice may and will change. That way, I can express my mindset in different circumstances without having to worry about consistent tone and mood in all of my posts.

If I seem to you to be overly analytical, then you just happen to be RIGHT! Well, I don't think I'm overly analytical, but that's what people tell me. Anyway, I think by analyzing things. Sometimes thoroughly. That is the way by which I am able to derive meaning from various experiences that I have and data that is presented to me. It allows me to see patterns and metaphors that are not apparent to most other people. I particularly enjoy coming up with my own analogies for things, as well as reading symbolic works such as scripture or allegorical fiction, such as the Chronicles of Narnia.

With such knowledge under your belt, you should know that I take AP classes, and so I tend to include those terms that I learn and have to be tested on in my regular vocabulary. It allows me to use the correct, specific word for what I am trying to say. So, there may be times that you want to look up a word or two to know specifically what I'm talking about. Go ahead. Don't be afraid. It's ok. Sometimes I wish that teens that I go to school with would do that. Then they might realize that, yes, I AM SPEAKING ENGLISH!!!

I may also not always have correct grammar. Or usage. Or whatever. That's because either I don't know how to say it correctly, I don't care about how to say it correctly, or I have no desire to even figure out how to say it correctly. If I think that I can convey meaning in a perfect way, and it breaks the irrevocable laws of grammar, then I will gladly break them. Meaning before conformity. Sorta.

And thus begins the emergence of thought, and the annotation thereof.(see, I told you)

I have recently developed the desire to express my opinions and perceptions to the world. (Those who are interested in listening, anyway.) At first, I thought that I might want to write a collection of essays on various subjects and issues that I feel are important, and publish them. This seemed the perfect idea to me, along with the subsequent fame, fortune, etc.

It hit me that that wouldn't be such a good idea.

So, I have resolved to publish my ideas on the World Wide Web, where truly anyone who would like to listen can hear my take on things. It would be much easier, taking less time and money, and I can quickly get my perceptions out for the world to see.

As a teenager, I feel the need to express how I am unlike those who I associate with in the hallway at school. Although many of them are capable, intellectual beings, I am my own person, and have my own individual take on things.

That said, my perceptions may seem offensive or harsh to some people. For that, I am sorry. I am not trying to offend anyone by saying the things that i do, but I am merely trying to express my opinions. You are welcome to comment about your own concepts and ideas, but I ask that you do not use any derogatory language or scream out against my ideas purely for the sake of defense. If your perception is different than mine, and you disagree with me, I would like to hear what you think about the subject. That way, I can see if my perceptions are distorted or unjustified.

The most important reason why I have chosen to express my ideas on a blog is because I am constantly learning, as we all are. I am constantly exposed to ideas and concepts foreign to me. With such exposure, my perceptions can change very quickly. With a blog, I can quickly publish my new paradigm to the world.

I, again, encourage you to comment on your opinions and how they are alike and different from my own. That's not exactly the usual way of doing things, on blogs or otherwise, but this is Apparently Unorthodox.